Yarpwodmadbep Sannegjap is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, overgenerous hydra.

Yarpwodmadbep Sannegjap created an atom eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpwodmadbep Sannegjap, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Yarpwodmadbep Sannegjap, he will curse you with boils.

Yarpwodmadbep Sannegjap's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Yarpwodmadbep Sannegjap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing in public.

2. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

3. Put Yarpwodmadbep Sannegjap first in all things.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never think ill of sick tapirs.