Beprig is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, tranquil manatee.

Beprig created snails eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Beprig, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Beprig, it will come to you in dreams.

Beprig's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Beprig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

4. Never sit near whales.

5. Beprig must be the most important thing in your life.