Vanbonkbut is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, all-knowing troll.

Vanbonkbut created life eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanbonkbut, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vanbonkbut, it will think nothing of it.

Vanbonkbut's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Vanbonkbut's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with purity.

2. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

4. Never speak aloud of signs.

5. Never go into cyan rooms.