Tiksagcem is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, impressive aardvark.

Tiksagcem created dark matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tiksagcem, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tiksagcem, he will turn you into a mouse.

Tiksagcem's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Tiksagcem's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat cucumbers.

2. Do not wear green clothing.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Always wash your legs before prayer.