Yamspagyakgessxinvegfud is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, loving tapir.

Yamspagyakgessxinvegfud created an electron nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamspagyakgessxinvegfud, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Yamspagyakgessxinvegfud, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Yamspagyakgessxinvegfud's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Yamspagyakgessxinvegfud's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Yamspagyakgessxinvegfud on top of all buildings.

2. Retreat if nine birds approach from the west.

3. Never talk about archaea.

4. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Yamspagyakgessxinvegfud in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics.