Dussmutflis is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, omniscient crow.

Dussmutflis created a quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dussmutflis, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dussmutflis, it will not care.

Dussmutflis' most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Dussmutflis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never wear boots.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

5. Never run near sharks.