Wanbandab is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, conceited walrus.

Wanbandab created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Wanbandab, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Wanbandab, she will turn you into a sheep.

Wanbandab's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Wanbandab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about goats.

2. Never record secrets.

3. Put Wanbandab first in all things.

4. Do not study cell theory on holy days.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity near monkeys while wearing yellow boots and balancing nine silicon spheres on your chest.