Nurbastdavzim is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, tranquil hyena.

Nurbastdavzim created Mount Everest five billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurbastdavzim, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Nurbastdavzim, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Nurbastdavzim's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Nurbastdavzim's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near dogs.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Nurbastdavzim loves mice, so they must be honoured.