Stertonkparkweecimmad is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, emotional pig.

Stertonkparkweecimmad created carbon four billion years ago.

If you believe in Stertonkparkweecimmad, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Stertonkparkweecimmad, it will strike you with lightening.

Stertonkparkweecimmad's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Stertonkparkweecimmad's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from mauve swans, for they are unholy.

2. Do not take Stertonkparkweecimmad's name in vain.

3. Worship no other gods but Stertonkparkweecimmad.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Stertonkparkweecimmad.