Stanarnfit is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, fast goblin.

Stanarnfit created a quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Stanarnfit, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Stanarnfit, he will turn you into a duck.

Stanarnfit's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Stanarnfit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare melons while filled with fear.

2. Never wear pink corsets on sacred days.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always count to nine before sleeping.

5. Always act with patience.