Nadkad Tarpjingesspin Gatsogshav is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unselfish otter.

Nadkad Tarpjingesspin Gatsogshav created silver four billion years ago.

If you believe in Nadkad Tarpjingesspin Gatsogshav, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nadkad Tarpjingesspin Gatsogshav, it will be mildly annoyed.

Nadkad Tarpjingesspin Gatsogshav's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Nadkad Tarpjingesspin Gatsogshav's Holy Commandments

1. Put Nadkad Tarpjingesspin Gatsogshav first in all things.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory near mice while wearing purple ear rings and balancing four aluminium spheres on your neck.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not hurt horses.

5. Never think about planets.