Lagstiksaf is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, deceitful otter.

Lagstiksaf created time and space six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lagstiksaf, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Lagstiksaf, she will not care at all.

Lagstiksaf's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Lagstiksaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Worship no other gods but Lagstiksaf.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never bounce near frogs.