Ligpibkin is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, stupid troll.

Ligpibkin created the planet Venus five billion years ago.

If you believe in Ligpibkin, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ligpibkin, she will curse you with boils.

Ligpibkin's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Ligpibkin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near nematodes while wearing red hats and balancing eight lead spheres on your back.

2. Do not hurt goats.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always obey Ligpibkin's priests.

5. Always look after injured porpoises.