Rapgemvagflanwonmil is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, sapient jaguar.

Rapgemvagflanwonmil created the planet Earth three million years ago.

If you believe in Rapgemvagflanwonmil, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Rapgemvagflanwonmil, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Rapgemvagflanwonmil's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Rapgemvagflanwonmil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat bread.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Never laugh in the presence of birds.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Rapgemvagflanwonmil.

5. Do not stand on grass.