Gesscumgig is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, intelligent elephant.

Gesscumgig created light six million years ago.

If you believe in Gesscumgig, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gesscumgig, it will not invite you to parties.

Gesscumgig's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Gesscumgig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit at rivers.

2. Heed all portents.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not prepare cherries while wearing kilts.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.