Zagkencem is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, merciless ferret.

Zagkencem created matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zagkencem, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zagkencem, it will turn you into a mouse.

Zagkencem's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Zagkencem's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

2. Horses are not to be trusted.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not wear fawn clothing.

5. Never feed cucumbers to monkeys while wearing red corsets.