Cenfenjab is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, caring cobra.

Cenfenjab created bats five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cenfenjab, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cenfenjab, she will turn you into a goat.

Cenfenjab's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Cenfenjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gold on your body.

2. Do not eat peanuts.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

4. Run away if six seals approach from the east.

5. Never wear brown hats.