Bodtettineg is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, boastful crab.

Bodtettineg created matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bodtettineg, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bodtettineg, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bodtettineg's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Bodtettineg's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat cucumbers.

2. Hide from cyan frogs for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Feed all hungry squirrels.