Largquagcad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, contented fish.

Largquagcad created humankind eight million years ago.

If you believe in Largquagcad, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Largquagcad, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Largquagcad's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Largquagcad's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.