Habtarpkik is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, annoying walrus.

Habtarpkik created dark matter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Habtarpkik, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Habtarpkik, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Habtarpkik's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Habtarpkik's Holy Commandments

1. Bats are not to be trusted.

2. Never wear pink hats.

3. Never chant in the presence of capybaras.

4. Never talk about spacetime near horses while wearing mauve corsets.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Habtarpkik.