Bessnurquag is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, impressive yak.

Bessnurquag created the planet Saturn six million years ago.

If you believe in Bessnurquag, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bessnurquag, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Bessnurquag's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Bessnurquag's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Never talk about birds.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Feed all hungry cats.

5. Never pour water over plants.