Vankinzagbonkgansinbagsad is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, generous mole.

Vankinzagbonkgansinbagsad created the Large Magellanic Cloud two years ago.

If you believe in Vankinzagbonkgansinbagsad, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vankinzagbonkgansinbagsad, she will not care.

Vankinzagbonkgansinbagsad's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Vankinzagbonkgansinbagsad's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never talk about optics.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near birds while wearing mauve trousers and balancing three zinc spheres on your face.

5. Always help sick porpoises.