Quimhasquart is a god.

She takes the form of a large, bad-tempered finch.

Quimhasquart created bats two billion years ago.

If you believe in Quimhasquart, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quimhasquart, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Quimhasquart's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Quimhasquart's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Quimhasquart.

5. Do not drink water in brown rooms.