Quimfumlim is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, sage weasel.

Quimfumlim created humankind eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimfumlim, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Quimfumlim, he will curse you with boils.

Quimfumlim's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Quimfumlim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair white.

2. Do not keep eight turtles in a large pit.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics near frogs while wearing gray shorts and balancing six platinum spheres on your face.

4. Do not hurt otters.

5. Never look at galaxies.