Lunpitlad is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, emotional crab.

Lunpitlad created the Cigar Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Lunpitlad, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Lunpitlad, he will remove you from existence.

Lunpitlad's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Lunpitlad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never think about gravity near aardvarks while wearing turquoise shoes and balancing seven platinum spheres on your legs.

3. Never feed figs to hamsters while wearing tights.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.