Kinvadbot is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, selfish hippopotamus.

Kinvadbot created the Milkyway four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kinvadbot, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Kinvadbot, he will turn you into a rat.

Kinvadbot's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Kinvadbot's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kinvadbot.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always help otters.

5. Never wear coats.