Flangilpakarndutsaw is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, grumpy cat.

Flangilpakarndutsaw created gold two million years ago.

If you believe in Flangilpakarndutsaw, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Flangilpakarndutsaw, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Flangilpakarndutsaw's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Flangilpakarndutsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not drink water in white rooms.

5. Always wear red.