Kimquillbunnuttwap is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, benevolent weasel.

Kimquillbunnuttwap created Mount Everest four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kimquillbunnuttwap, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kimquillbunnuttwap, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Kimquillbunnuttwap's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Kimquillbunnuttwap's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

4. Never hop in the presence of porpoises.

5. Never paint your head green.