Podgofort is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, ill-tempered bat.

Podgofort created snails six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Podgofort, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Podgofort, he will turn you into a rock.

Podgofort's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Podgofort's Holy Commandments

1. Podgofort must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near pigs while wearing green kilts and balancing six carbon spheres on your head.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism near nematodes while wearing magenta skirts.

5. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.