Betmobmif is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, unselfish jackal.

Betmobmif created an electron four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Betmobmif, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Betmobmif, it will destroy your favourite star.

Betmobmif's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Betmobmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt grasshopers.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

3. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Betmobmif on top of all buildings.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.