Ditcenjin is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, merciless badger.

Ditcenjin created bats six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditcenjin, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Ditcenjin, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Ditcenjin's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Ditcenjin's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always help mites.

3. Hide if nine seals approach from the south.

4. Never talk about stars.

5. Never wear white stockings.