Yogmetflig is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, clever hamster.

Yogmetflig created a strange quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogmetflig, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yogmetflig, it will turn you into a mouse.

Yogmetflig's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Yogmetflig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Retreat if three goats approach from the south.

3. Hide if five pigs approach from the west.

4. Never feed carrots to horses while wearing coats.

5. You must pray to Yogmetflig four times a day.