Tonbegrillfitbabbestmotyak is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, cheerful squid.

Tonbegrillfitbabbestmotyak created parasitic wasps four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonbegrillfitbabbestmotyak, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tonbegrillfitbabbestmotyak, he will turn you into a puffin.

Tonbegrillfitbabbestmotyak's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Tonbegrillfitbabbestmotyak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about peas.

2. Tonbegrillfitbabbestmotyak must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Hide if nine sheep approach from the south.