Tiffebcit Watnarlog Hogbathiv is a god.

It takes the form of a small, ill-tempered squirrel.

Tiffebcit Watnarlog Hogbathiv created the cosmos three million years ago.

If you believe in Tiffebcit Watnarlog Hogbathiv, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tiffebcit Watnarlog Hogbathiv, it will turn you into a frog.

Tiffebcit Watnarlog Hogbathiv's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Tiffebcit Watnarlog Hogbathiv's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.

2. Do not wear red clothing.

3. Never think about dark matter near tapirs while wearing yellow shorts and balancing four iron spheres on your head.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not hurt badgers.