Zogveenbass is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, blissful pig.

Zogveenbass created time and space seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zogveenbass, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Zogveenbass, he will laugh at you.

Zogveenbass' most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Zogveenbass' Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never wear magenta rings.

5. Do not drink alcohol.