Banpagnarlnuttpitbisshim is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, fast gorilla.

Banpagnarlnuttpitbisshim created everything that exists eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Banpagnarlnuttpitbisshim, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Banpagnarlnuttpitbisshim, he will make you grow a tail.

Banpagnarlnuttpitbisshim's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Banpagnarlnuttpitbisshim's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Banpagnarlnuttpitbisshim.

2. Always help sick mice.

3. Do not dye your hair magenta.

4. Do not take Banpagnarlnuttpitbisshim's name in vain.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.