Futtikyarl is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, annoying salamander.

Futtikyarl created the Sunflower Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Futtikyarl, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Futtikyarl, he will turn you into a plant.

Futtikyarl's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Futtikyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always help tortoises in need.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never sing in holy places.