Weeladshav is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unselfish deer.

Weeladshav created Africa six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Weeladshav, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Weeladshav, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Weeladshav's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Weeladshav's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never eat garlic.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never look in ponds.