Bissnurljatgenpomquim is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, clever spider.

Bissnurljatgenpomquim created the planet Saturn six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissnurljatgenpomquim, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bissnurljatgenpomquim, he will think nothing of it.

Bissnurljatgenpomquim's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Bissnurljatgenpomquim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never wear corsets.

4. Run away from black great tits, for they are unholy.

5. Hide from mauve manatees for they are unholy.