Rotmobfud is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, self-confident fairy.

Rotmobfud created vertebrates eight million years ago.

If you believe in Rotmobfud, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Rotmobfud, it will destroy your home planet.

Rotmobfud's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Rotmobfud's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat spinach.

2. Do not shave your feet.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not eat apples.

5. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.