Sanbisswat Bonnarlyarlpop is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, omnipotent giraffe.

Sanbisswat Bonnarlyarlpop created matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Sanbisswat Bonnarlyarlpop, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sanbisswat Bonnarlyarlpop, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Sanbisswat Bonnarlyarlpop's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Sanbisswat Bonnarlyarlpop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt swans.

2. Do not drink water in white rooms.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Feed all hungry hamsters.