Tonbonvad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, dishonest bee.

Tonbonvad created the planet Saturn eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tonbonvad, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tonbonvad, it will turn you into a puffin.

Tonbonvad's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Tonbonvad's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from pink monkeys, for they are unholy.

2. Do not wear cyan clothing.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never hurt turtles.

5. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Tonbonvad on top of all buildings.