Xempasgup is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, sapient lion.

Xempasgup created an electron nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xempasgup, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Xempasgup, he will turn you into a puffin.

Xempasgup's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Xempasgup's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near bats while wearing pink shorts and balancing nine silver spheres on your arms.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

3. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

4. Erect a giant green sculpture of Xempasgup in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not drink alcohol.