Tofbomtom is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, omniscient rat.

Tofbomtom created an up quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Tofbomtom, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tofbomtom, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Tofbomtom's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Tofbomtom's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in holy places.

2. Run away if four frogs approach from the east.

3. Never hurt manatees.

4. Hide if five birds approach from the west.

5. Do not covet oxen.