Jatflaplegbit is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, proud shark.

Jatflaplegbit created an up quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Jatflaplegbit, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Jatflaplegbit, he will turn you into a rock.

Jatflaplegbit's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Jatflaplegbit's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Do not speak about garlic.

3. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Jatflaplegbit in the centre of the settlement.

4. Jatflaplegbit must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not wear carbon on your body.