Fitkemtonk is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, loving dragon.

Fitkemtonk created a strange quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Fitkemtonk, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fitkemtonk, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Fitkemtonk's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Fitkemtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never think about planets.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Erect six aluminium sculptures of Fitkemtonk on top of important buildings.

5. Always obey Fitkemtonk's priests.