Negxinstikhot Natcaploopceb is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, idiotic deer.

Negxinstikhot Natcaploopceb created a charm quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Negxinstikhot Natcaploopceb, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Negxinstikhot Natcaploopceb, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Negxinstikhot Natcaploopceb's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Negxinstikhot Natcaploopceb's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather five birds in one place.

2. Never talk about quantum gravity.

3. Do not eat oranges.

4. Never eat cucumbers.

5. Always share figs with strangers, but never with aardvarks.