Kanwipsogcabzen is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, generous cow.

Kanwipsogcabzen created the Small Magellanic Cloud four million years ago.

If you believe in Kanwipsogcabzen, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Kanwipsogcabzen, he will send minions to preach to you.

Kanwipsogcabzen's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Kanwipsogcabzen's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight nematodes approach from the north.

2. Never hurt horses.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always look after injured shrews.

5. Never play with disobedient children.