Zoglarphug is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, compassionate goblin.

Zoglarphug created the universe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zoglarphug, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Zoglarphug, he will turn you into a sheep.

Zoglarphug's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Zoglarphug's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Zoglarphug's priests.

2. Never hurt mites.

3. Never eat tomatoes.

4. Do not hurt badgers.

5. Learn four new languages a year.