Dubwipquaf is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, happy bat.

Dubwipquaf created a photon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dubwipquaf, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Dubwipquaf, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Dubwipquaf's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Dubwipquaf's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Dubwipquaf eight times a day.

2. Never hop in holy places.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never wear cyan kilts.