Lanominsaf is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, intelligent raven.

Lanominsaf created bats three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanominsaf, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Lanominsaf, he will turn you into a rat.

Lanominsaf's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Lanominsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four aluminium sculptures of Lanominsaf on top of important buildings.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. You must love Lanominsaf.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Always treat dolphins with great respect.