Tiffligbim is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, charitable shark.

Tiffligbim created the planet Saturn three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tiffligbim, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tiffligbim, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Tiffligbim's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Tiffligbim's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ultrasonics.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never think about bacteria.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.