Hogtafbell is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, unselfish unicorn.

Hogtafbell created the Large Magellanic Cloud three million years ago.

If you believe in Hogtafbell, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Hogtafbell, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Hogtafbell's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Hogtafbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics.

2. Erect a giant white sculpture of Hogtafbell in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never sing in holy places.

4. Never gather eight goats near walls.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.